VerySmartBrothas, I just saw your segment on Weekly w/ Ed Gordon on BET and decided to check out your site. The things you discuss are exactly what most ppl in the black community and outside need to hear. I searched through the site but I couldn’t find a blog for a certain question I have. But I’ve dated all types of women. From the extremely insecure to the overly possessive mixed with a control freak. But this one, is a new one. We’ve been best friends for about 2 years. She moved back home after she graduated college. She’s the strong, black woman type but she is void of expressing emotions. It’s hard to read her. The last yr and a half, I had a g/f. She told me to start dating her at the beginning of the relationship then confesses her feelings. So the whole time I’m juggling 2 women. I finally break up with my ex b/c I kept forcing us to be but wasn’t happening and you know it, I eventually hook up with my best friend. I tell her we need to not be physical and get to know one another better so we can be official. So it’s not the sex but I’m starting to fall for her but she seems as if she is coolin’ it. Not the emotional type but she got me buggin’. How do I deal with a woman who just doesn’t like her emotions being known and brushes things off like a guy? The roles have switched. I’m stumped on this one. Can you help me?

I just saw your segment on Weekly w/ Ed Gordon on BET and decided to check out your site. The things you discuss are exactly what most ppl in the black community and outside need to hear. I searched through the site but I couldn't find a blog for a certain question I have. But I've dated all types of women. From the extremely insecure to the overly possessive mixed with a control freak. But this one, is a new one. We've been best friends for about 2 years. She moved back home after she graduated college. She's the strong, black woman type but she is void of expressing emotions. It's hard to read her. The last yr and a half, I had a g/f. She told me to start dating her at the beginning of the relationship then confesses her feelings. So the whole time I'm juggling 2 women. I finally break up with my ex b/c I kept forcing us to be but wasn't happening and you know it, I eventually hook up with my best friend. I tell her we need to not be physical and get to know one another better so we can be official. So it's not the sex but I'm starting to fall for her but she seems as if she is coolin' it. Not the emotional type but she got me buggin'. How do I deal with a woman who just doesn't like her emotions being known and brushes things off like a guy? The roles have switched. I'm stumped on this one. Can you help me?

Anonymous

Thanks for writing.
As far as your main question — “How do I deal with a woman who just doesn’t like her emotions being known and brushes things off like a guy?” — I have one answer for you: you don’t. Sounds like she’s a “miss “think like a man…and act like a man too”, and I explain why you probably should avoid these types of women here:

why she’s tempting: you’ve been complaining all your life about non-sensible women and their latent bipolar-ness, soyou rejoice when you meet a chick who’s ultra assertive, rational, practical, and actually kicks you out of bed (and her crib) after sex
why she’s toxic: between the embarrassment you’ll feel during sex when you say “whose is it??” and she replies “not yours, weak d*ck muthaf*cker“,the annoyance you’ll feel when you realize she hasn’t listened to a single word you’ve said since january 2009, and the fact that her general blasé attitude about intimacy makes you (rightly) suspect that she’s slept with at least 150 guys, she’s not worth the trouble. plus, when you break up, she’ll probably startdating before you do, and her new guy will probably be an upgrade

Obviously, that passage exaggerates, but It just doesn’t seem like your situation is going to end well, and I’d dead it before you got even more invested in her.
—-The Champ

blackisyou liked this
verysmartbrothas posted this